And if a doubledecker bus kills the both of us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.

And if a ten ton truck crashes in to us, to die by your side, well the pleasure and privledge is mine.

We went to Alex one late evening. We forgot our passports in Cairo and couldn't get a room anywhere. Exhausted and slightly discouraged we sit down at a cornercafè to smoke some shisha and have a double turkish coffee. In usual francoarabic we get our orders from the garcon, but have no luck in getting further advice concerning our situation. He does however, send an englishspeaking customer to our table who proves to be very friendly and helpful. Him and his friends starts calling aquentainces at hotels and brokers, until someone finally manages to help us.

An hour or two later, after a so-so dinner at a sweet little place beside a sweet gay couple on a date, we head off to the place we're supposed to meet the broker. It's allready past 1 AM and we're pretty beat. We finally find him, and he tells us he has many apartments and we should go looking. So he sends us off with a guy who sais his english is very good, then don't understand a word i am saying before i try him in arabic. Then he starts knocking doors, waking the bawwabs asking for rooms. Very suspicious. We're sent back and foreward till he finally finds a place. A place that smells like corps and has pictures of militant islamists on the wall, broken windows and is generally filthy and creepy in any thinkable way. We're so tired that we just go "we can do this" and expect not to pay the max 150 ginehs a night our friend from the coffeeshop said. Ali Baba (or Karim wich he introduced himself as, karim my shiny *****) however, asks us for 300 a night. At this point he's been dragging us around for hours, checking our ID's and then he's trying to pull an arab on me. I get so pissed off that i'm not even listening when he starts negotiating the price. It's 2 am and i want to sleep. On the taxi away from there i realise i could have said a whole lot of things that would have made perfect sense in arabic and insulted him a lot more. * note to self; start doing homework*

After some hassle, we got on a minibus going 180 an hour, even in the rain, with a driver that now and then fell asleep and changes the cds to the bad film he's watching as we go. I was trying to shut it all out listening to the Smith's The queen is dead, thinking about heavy machinery crashing into us and killing us, and it gave me a disturbingly serane feeling between grabbing on to my man in fear of him dissapearing out trought the window forever and ever.

Mette, remember when i almost got us killed by the doubledecker in London? Ahh sweet times :)

And in the Smith-ish spirit, the queen, it appears, is not dead, because saw her last night. Update follows soon.

I took a trip on a gemini spacecraft

Man is here. Finally someone to argue, discuss, sing off key and sleep with. And to carry my bags in Khan elKhalili.

Reason to why i love Cairo; We just had supper delivered. The 3 of us ate for 11 EGP. Wich is 12 NOK. Including delivery, coke and tip.

AHHHHHH. We might be off to Alex tomorrow. If we can be bothered. It's Eid and the night is still young. Oh and our fish are going bananas.


Who put speed in the fishbowl? Leif and Bjarnehenryhugoviggo are racing. Giddy giddy.

Sunday, bloody Sunday.

I woke up to a phonecall from my man at 6-something, saying the landlords had locked themselves in our apt. back home with a note to leave by the end of the month as they were selling the house. As if it wasn't freaky enough that they just enter our home without notifying us, they also decided that a good time for us to move is when we are both abroad, as he was leaving this evning to come and see me. Since someone didn't fix the contract, they are free to do so. So. No concentrating on my test today for me. I had to call the woman in Denmark who is the actual owner and sort things out. I bought us another 15 days, which means he'll have a week to get everything done when he gets back home, and barely avoided having to cancel his ticket. We were planning to move the next month anyways, but the thought of those crazy bastards having keys to the place where all the things i have left from my father and his side of the family resides, aswell as my pets and all my personal belongings are is not very comforting, espessially when they're that unstable. Ulcertriggering!

So i get myself to uni and somehow make it trough the day without eating at all. I did have alot of coffee and fags though, and didn't completely fail my test. Afterwords Elin and i went to Heliopolis to shop for our flat, and spent a good amount of ginehs on nothing lifesaving. By the end we were both so hungry we nearly threw up in the restaurant.

I got back home and found out that he is actually on his way. I am almost starting to belive it. However, his plane is several hours late, so there is still a chanse things might bleep up. I am nauseus and in no state to do homework.

June: Gratulerer med dagen snuppa. Stooor jente.

Bi kam innurwegeya?

So. Where to start. We hang out. I've stopped taking the doctors pills but i feel heaps better (i've yet to take the mean tests she wants me to do though, and remind me never to let my mum in on it the next time a doctor expresses a concern of me possibly having tyfus), and I am starting to catch up at uni again. I'm taking an additional class to get more credits which i thought would be a massive stressload, but so far it actually seems to be helping me out alot.

We've got goldfish. We're very much in love with them, they're sexy little rascals. Elin and i got them from Finland last week, which was a rather scary affair as we got stuck in a lift with severe
amounts of AD-HD. It started rushing between the 4th and 1st floor without letting us off while franticly blinking the lights. The lady waiting on the 4th floor was pretty pissed off at us, since she appearently thought we enjoyed flirting with death and told us off when we finally managed to get out and walk the stairs up.

Went to the openingmeeting for the norwegian studentsociety here after having a beer or 2 with Rae the other night. We threw the meeting vikingstyle, and i went home early after smoking too much and drinking. We adressed some interresting issues though, like the amounts of credits demanded from our homeuniversities that equals more than a full-time study here, some social matters and possible charities we're concidering working on. I woke up at midnight, having slept it all off and couldn't go back to sleep till 4am ish.

Last night we (Rae, Deen and I) went to a party with the great girls i had dinner with after Coptic Cairo. Met alot of cool people, many AUC'ers and some other nice folks. Bumped into Dave and Nate and dragged them along aswell. I would like to say i had a lot of interresting chats, but between the occational socio-cultural discussions, we were mostly throwing dirty jokes around and smelling eachother now and then. Good times.

Being a tipsy blonde alone in night-time Cairo is really not fun, and after arguing with the driver on my way home, he wanted me to pay in sex in addition to his fare. I asked him if he understood the meaning of "flame" whereas i told him to burn in hell. I belive my exact words were: "Do you know what? You can burn in hell. Burn, burned, will be burning. In hell" (this is when i explicitly drew a little flame with my hand and createed a small man barbecuing over it with my other) "Infact, i hope you crash your car so it bursts into flames right away, so that you burn. Yeah thats it burn. In hell." And i threw in some stuff about being a lousy moslem during Ramadan, but i suspect he might be Copt. Ahh the glory of arab men.

Man will be here in 2 days to chase them off though, i really can't wait for that.

Idealist brutally beaten down by the Karma Police

Monday night, 21.00 local egyptian time, a young idealist was, according to our sources who wish to remain anonymous, brutally beaten down by the Karma Police after a long period of mental and physical abuse. The reason for the assult is supposively a lifestylechoise conflicting with the KP's belives.

"We can confirm that there has been an arrest, but it is highly legitimate, " sais first lieutenant Blackwick of the Academic Armed Forces KP. "our suspect has been widely known to rely on her good memory to enable her to enforce a lifestyle of reckless partying and activeties unconcious of global affairs, instead of studying and following up on her call as a true idealist. All our methods are legal and within the frames of Karma law"

"I feel violated" sais the accuser. "First, i lost my common sense, ability to concentrate and general sense of well-being" The young girl bears evident marks of a physical encounter with a superiour power. "then i started feeling physically bad. Really bad. I suspect that they've been on to me for a long time, and planted planned-out traps along my way. Don't you find it weird that i suddenly ended up with a smoking flat-mate and a veranda in my room? Or a friend that likes to go for a nice drink? They even set out conveys of charming people to try and make me fall in even deeper, but i resisted. It must have angered them, because now thay have resulted to emails and constructive critisism of my work. I just couldn't take it anymore"

Several organs in the Karma organizations now question the methods of the KP, and the incident has raised much controversia in public discussions. "Self destruction is a well-studied method of punishment, and it is also very efficient as it naturally eliminates bad seeds, we are well within our limits of this legal method" sais FL Blackwick. The opposing side argues that power lies in the will to do right, not only the ability, and that this might discourage even more good people from making an efford.

"I stand by my point of the KP being far over their limits in this case" sais the accuser. "there are so many people out there who do worse than me but never have to face consequences like this. I really am a good person, whatever happened to the inside that counts? They are making me into an example. I feel downright bullied!"

There are no witnesses to the assumed assult, but so far in the process it seems as if the Karma Police are making a good case.

-Sprøyters




(I got a reply to my angry mail to the anthrodepartment)

To all my friends and acquaintances

You're all asswipes for reading up on my life without leaving me as much as a note to recognize you by.


Oh yea, and i love you.

Birell and the one who got away.

I feel 14 and drunk. The truth is though, that i am 24 and painfully sober. Sometimes life just plays tricks on you. Birell is a local non-alcoholic beer, and we're chugging it down like Murphys red on a friday night.

I've done stuff, i've hung out, i met great people, i went to Khan ElKhalili with Camille yesterday, and had a wonderful dinner with Raeanne and Sarah in the afternoon. Wine, girltalk great thaifood. Got up confused and slightly post-intoxicated for an AUC bustour to Coptic Cairo. Was cool at first, saw some interresting things, learned a little. By the time we got to the museum however, i was out of air, out of sleep and realising i hadn't eaten all day. Camille cracked me up infront of the Doktora and as i was so helplessly sleepdeprived i kept giggeling the painful last 30 minutes.

Afterwords i went to a korean place in Zamalek with finland and some cool girls that i instantly liked. Great food. Men and directions caused me a long walk home, but that was ok. Speaking of Suomi, my good old friend popped up on my msn and reported a spotfree status. V, if you read this, it's always good hearing from you again, espessially when life treats you well, you really deserve the best.

The consept of having a home with someone is changing it's view on me. A home is not a room, or space in any way shape or form. Home is just knowing somehow somewhere you belong. And i have that place with me whereever i go, because i am blessed enough in this world to have someone to turn to who gets the essencials of me.

I should study arabic, but i'm slightly knocked off my feet at the moment and have trouble concentrating. I called my girlfriends back home and had a chat, i miss you girls alot, it was good hearing from you again. I want a different structure to my days.

=0.o=

Premium

I've discovered Stella Premium. This will be the end of me.

We had a girls day at a mall in Heliopolis. Camille, Raeanne, Sarah and myself headed off just in time to have to wait out iftar at a coffeeshop while the shops were closed. Rae went wild and did alot of shopping, i dragged forks around in my purse for the rest of the day. Camille was overly exited about the cleaningsupplies in the shop there and Sarah went right to the hijabsection, which you can find on every corner down town. We shopped and chatted and had a great time. Felt good to get away from the middle east for a while and being girls with foul mouths.

Then Sarah, Rae and i went to cheer Dave playing a basket-team for the AUC. The whole cheering teams thing is a bit toolish for my own cramped style, but we had a great time. Our boys did well and won. I am guessing my norwegian obscureties was a big help for them.

And THEN dannbadammdadada, -we went to the Hilton rooftop for a drink. Whoever thought i was too lax to ever set foot in such place was wrong. I know all ye hanseats will be twitching in your seats now, but the egyptians really got the meaning of "premium". The first decent beer i've had since i came here. And a fantastic nile-view and service you can only ever dream of in Egypt. According prices, but to put that in norwegian terms; i payed for 5 beers, a shisha, snacks included (beernuts and sliced vegetables) and left a tip and i payed less than NOK 200.
The night ended too soon as they closed early for Ramadan, but i'll definately go back there.

Lise:Gratulerer med dagen, vesla! Glad i deg.

Torun og Øyvind; gratulerer med forlovelsen, det var fantastiske nyheter!

I (don't) think i'm (as) paranoid (anymore)

Went to the doctors, got my leave, went to the rest of my classes apart from the new reading-and-writing one i signed up for because that was, err, inconvenient. We have thursday off so that means it's weekend here now.

Then i headed off to Khan ElKhalili with Raeanne, Deen, and two american blokes; Brendan (?) and Aron (not Eric). It's packed with people and i tried to cling myself to the blokes to avoid being kidnapped by organsellers or other salesmen (my corneas can't be worth much anyhow). Then a guy looks at Deen, Raeanne and myself and in great joy askes Deen; OOO You have TWO wives! Whereby i growl at Deen; Yes you do!

We ran around for a bit before we decided to sit down for Iftar (for the uninvited that's breakfast in arabic, litterally break fast, as it takes place closer to six at night when the moslems can start eating after fasting all day now at Ramadan) amongst the locals in one of the massive outdoor table-setups they have here. Custom is to give out free food to those less fortunate, and it's common for people to gather and eat at those places. After a so-so meal, the blokes were less happy with the so-high bill we were presented with after. Turns out the egyptians next to us got one aswell though, and the price was the same for them also - which is not something you can take for granted here, as foreigners are always expected to pay more than locals. We had a discussion about that at the table, and several of us had noticed how more wealthy egyptians took pride in paying taxidrivers alot etc. We concluded with this being a matter of class-difference, and that foreigners are normally portrayed as richer or upper class and are thus expected to pay more. Which in turn might explain why it's not necessarely shameless of the drivers to expect us to pay heaps for rides. (Anthro of the day)

We went to a lovely, crowded shishaplace inside the walls where i created a laugh when i had a blonde moment over not being able to smoke trough my pipe that didn't have coles on it yet. This is where i got the message that Gaston has decided to replace me with two parrots while i'm gone, which further coloured many of our convos for the night. I can see the headlines allready ; "Returning blonde pekked to death by angry mob"

Then we headed off to the Merriot. Come on, people! Who the hell goes to Harry's pub? For all norwegians out there, the name really sais it all. One beer, and we went out back for more stella and shisha, where we met Dave and Nate. Dave was wearing a cap that it took me a while to respect. I came to a conclution that it was sort of like my scruffy shoes; a sick attachment to items only a mum can love (and no, i am not up for discussing weather my shoes are babies or not). I ended up having a really good time, even though a nearby tree kept shooting berries at us with dangerously accurate aim. And we saw the guy from "biggest loser" (nonono, i would never watch something like that, not even in my most desperate hours of lonelyness, i swear) and he had, like, soooo definately gained weight again.

We looked around for a place to eat for a while, and when we sat down at a pizzaplace i was a bit too tired to be sociable. Besides, at that point i was the only female left and the guys were up to six. Which back home would be a normal evning scenario for me, but here makes you look sort of, well, rented. Aron lives nearby (he resides with Finland actually) and he generously walked me home.

(oh and at some point before this we were followed by a cat the size of a shetlandpony. I think it was looking for prey. He has his eye on Nate and myself, till i glared meanly at it while showing teeth.)

Back home Elin and i laughed at filmstrips she found online and i had a chat wif ma man before i fell asleep and only occationaly woke up and in slightly less stinging pain than the nights before. Yayyy. Some Bushism with impressive craft http://my.break.com/media/view.aspx?ContentID=111184 And if you can read swedish this will kill you; http://www.idleriot.com/media/videos/Funny/431/Han_Teleporterar_Taliban.html

Feel less paranoid than i normally do, and i don't really fear that anyone thinks i'm in love with them today. For those who remember, i have encounted rather uncomfortable situations due to men thinking i love them while indeed, in the words of my mate Mike; You're a man-eating, heart-breaking bitch and you damn well know it.

(unnskyld, Beibi ;) )

Comment of the day; by salesman at Khan ElKhalili; How may i take your money!? (whereby i pointed at Deen)

1001 nights

Couldn't sleep tonight because of the pain. Got a few hrs between 7-11 ish before mrLoo called for me again. Had to stay home, which is a pain in itself concidering daytime telly here. Been a good girl today; 1 coffe and 2 fags leaves me within docs bounderies. If the morningmeds make me feel slightly better than i am now, i'll give uni a try in the morning.

Wrote a chapter on my novel, but apart from that spent most of my day dizzying between the couch and my room. Oh, and failed the anthrotask. Hell has officially frozen over. Sent them an angry mail. Looong day.

My classmates are cool, called and checked up on me, t'is appriciated!

Norwegian foods

So we went to the embassy-party tonight and had a good time. Engaged mostly with people i know and somewhat (on the contrary it's somewhat hot) with people i didn't, met the embassador and some other cool people. Had a tummyache. What else is there to say.

Got home and solved some world-problems on the veranda, and paniced as the local groceryshop-guy came by with a bag we'd forgotten.

Comment of the day; "There is a man out there and i think he has his penis out!"

ULSTOP/ AL STOB

Yep, that's what they feed them. And take away their coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, spicy food and everything else that makes life bearable. If i had a sexlife they would probably take that away too. Ramadan karim.

Monday monday (or sunday sunday if you will)

Got sick today and barely made it to uni before i went home. Stinging pain in my stomach, somehow i have a sneaky suspicion that my lifestyle is catching up on me. The doc wouldn't recieve me until i brought my student ID, so i'll have to stop by tomorrow. Had a nap with Telly and a chat with the girls on the veranda, wondering what meds they stuff ulcerpatients with here.