And as i climb into an empty bed

Oh, well, enough said.


I seriously don't know anyone who'se got as major issues as yours truly when it comes to sociability, ability to interact with people in an accepted way that follows just general social codexes. And i know some fucked up people.

Oh, well, there is always pain au chocolat.

Going to Israel/Palestine tomorrow night, maybe a trip trough Sinai before we spend a few days in Jordan. And when i return to Cairo, this will all be over.

"Oh mother, i can feel the soil falling over my head."

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Allright!

We had a 17th of May khowagas international party last night and it was sweet and nice and just the way i wanted it to be, on the hottest veranda in the hottest penthouse in the world. Alot of different people stopped by, and i am currently awake, in my own bed, alone, with my head glued to the pillow and a flinch of teh angzt. Just the way i like it. Ilhamdulilleh!

What the hell am i doing here

Sick, and tired of being sick, and tired of being sick and tired.

Fly away

My life is like this. Airport to airport, and while you'd think the voices would become more familiar the more i heard them, the more languages my brain would be able to take in, the more i'd comprehend. But it's not like that. My mothertounge is as incomprehensible to me as the arabic i've spent ages reading, learning, internalizing, and i cannot seporate my cockney brothers from my dutch ones, or the rolling bergendese dialect that i myself have fallen into. It's all babel, all over, and i am but the silent observer suffering from jetlag to jetlag in delayed airports, fareports, and small gates to heaven. I've learnt to carry around these documents, only to read them over and realise that every airport, every journey has has happened too fast and my vast memory will serve me a documented truth, that i've been here before, done this before in endless countries and airports before. Yet i cannot sit still unless the plane is delayed.

I get up, shower, fall out into the street wearing something you would have slept in in the 80's, stop by our local groceryshop to get my pop-fix and meet my friend. Grab some icecream and walk home in the rain. Just as i am about to close the gate behind me someone sais "HI!" and as i realise it's the new neighbour, my man's friend, i fall down he stairs, land on my feet-ish with icecream up my nose. Ehhhhhhi you must be alex, nice to meet you, i say, with icecream still up my nose i stick my hand out just as he's checking his mailbox and stand like that for a small eternity before i unlock th door with shaking hands.

Went out with Steph and some friends last night, i've really missed my friends.

If you belive in magic

I did it i did it. I think i passed too. Ahh, now i need a fag. No, wait, a man, then a fag. No wait fag first, then a few monday-beers at Inside.

(This reminds me of when i told my mum i was a lesbian after being dumped by some bloke. I always wondered what it would be like coming out of the closet, so i had to try. My mum burst into a desperate giggle in a high-pitch voice, before she got a grip, cleared her throat and said; Well, as long as you are happy. Kudos mum.)

She’ll do crazy things, yeah, on lonely occasions.

Went to see a danceshow that man's sis was in today, and although parts of it reminded more about stripping (not with her, hamdulilleh) it really made me want to dance again. I actually miss it alot, but i am still not sure if my foot would keep up. I can feel my arches give in when i do kickboxing, so i doubt pointework would be that much better, although the stress is somewhat different.

I am panicing about my exam, i am not ready at all, and i forgot my semestercard in Cairo, which means they are actualy allowed to show me away. I can't focus on reading, my head is all ADHD and all over the place.

Had a few pints at Finnagans with Marie last night. So very right. So much catching up. So much fuuun. Singalongs with Smashing Pumpkins.

Bought a cool veil/hat-thing. I want to indulge myself in the vanity of this place, but i can't afford to right now.

Bergen, which was so sunny and beautiful when i arrived, is now it's usual, rainy self. I love the rain. Even walking across the bridge with the cold drops pounding on my face seems nice today, and the air is so clean compared to Cairo. I'm at a really destructive place inside right now though, so i should really get some bloodwork done when i'm here, i've been postproning it way too long. I'm just so freaking scared of the actual process. Atleast i'll have 5 more days with my beautiful friends.

Obladi oblada

I'm in Norway for a week. It's the worst thing that could have happened to me right now. But i won't complain, cause that's all i ever do, so i'll tell you good stuff about Norway. The air; Crisp, clean, transparent air. The beer; You can get a wide selections of beers of your choise, with friends; gorgeous friends who knows you and have missed you, at places where the employies will give you the sweetest hugs when you first arrive. Tap-water, showerwater, clean, clear, tasty water, womens shoulders, mowhawks, piercings and colours as far as you can see. No.Random.Strangers.Screaming.At.You. Do me over, Norway!

On Sunday morning

I have a theory
that any man who'se known me on a Sunday morning and still remains my friend is a man worth keeping around. (yes, there are exeptions, and yes, you get extra credits if you were actually my bf at the time)

We went to a lovely whorehouse yesterday, where i managed to sneak into the loo to tip the pregnant prostitute w/o her employees noticing. That's all there is worth mentioning from that place.

Then we went to the jazzclub, danced, drink, drank, drunk, went home, partied, fell asleep. And here i am, labourday, the only one awake in a full house, like so many times before, trying to work, like so many times before, drinking too much coffee, like always. I can't seem to wrap my mind around why, when this lifestyle is everything i hate about the civilized world, these are my best moments. Oh, oh oh, we're natural born sinners.