Your own personal Jesus

I'm drinking perverted amounts of chocolate milk lately. Now here's the problem; After developing a theory that milk is the sole evil that walks upon this earth I quit drinnking it, say 6-ish years ago and only used it for cooking and such. Which, like it often does, resulted in me losing the enzyme humans develope in order to digest milk from cowns and left me, you guessed it, intolerant towards milk.

So why you ask, why this torture upon self and others? The truth is, I do not know. I just have to have that slimey substance, squeezed from another mammal's teets. If you can help me, please do. (and no, I'm still not pregnant, stop that it's not funny) And in case it matters, I am also chugging down pickles on a sick level, aswell as eating several dinners a day. (no, really, I am not pregnant)