Free as a bird

First day back to work left me with a shoulder in a badass lock. That was monday. Today is friday, and i had my second shift. And now i am only two twelve-hour shifts away from having survived the weekend. Between monday and now, i've done nothing. Or fun stuff,. Or hanging out. Last night we went out to play a swedish game in the park with, you guessed it, some swedes, Paul and an englishman. Oh and a few other norwegians. Turns out i suck at throwing sticks at things, which is why i try to fill my days with more meaningful things like, say anything but throwing sticks. So we all had fun, even though i was the underdog and we got eaten by mosquitos. I was a good girl, preparing for my late-shift today, and only drining light-beer (which means light in alcohol). We moved on to a pub, and i had but one beer and was ready to call it a night when swedos sweet sister asked if i was ready for shots. I politely told her thanks but that would be impossible since i had work this afternoon. She then proceded to beg me to celebrate their last night out before moving to Sweden and i realised the shots (plural, for each of us) were allready payed for and on the table. Drinks here are really expensive, so when someoe spends a whole fortune to celebrate, it would br pretty tasteless to turn it down. So a slippery nipple and some tabasco-sambuca-shot later, i was just waiting for the tipsynes to kick in, while our mate celebrated his well-functioning gag-reflex. It ended as it had, with me waking up prematurely this morning, with housands of little men dancing around in my head. With clogs.

I made breakfast forever, failed to wake up my man and still had to eat alone. Went to work just as i was almost able to go back to sleep, trough the gates, got my keys, came to the department, just to realise i was supposed to be in another. Great day to learn new routines. Just splended. Besides, this wasn't as high security, which might sound great, but in reality means interacting with more clients at once. I started out a bit clumbsy, but apart from some massive fondeling with my keys i did ok. And sick as it might sound, it's cool to see some people again, and see that they are moving on in the system and aren't stuck on high-security for life. Some of these blokes are nice people, and they love sitting about having a chat. And they invite you in to eat with them, which isn't happening when people are on single-cells with no common-room. People find it funny that i'm not scared to find myself alone and seriously outnumbered in the same room as 6-20 convicted criminals, between those who have killed and raped and some less offensive crimes. The truth is that i am not scared. I enjoy my job very much. And like most other men, for each that is willing to harm you, there are 20 that would fight to protect you. "you should have told me you went to the middle-east", one said. "I would have lent you my house, it's just standing there now, my family could have helped you". I reminded him that that letting my connection to him be known would mean breaking my wow of silence, and thus being impossible. That didn't bother him, he said, as long as i didn't tell his relatives.

Another recognized my uniform-shoes as being the same i wore last year, and the group i was in charge of for the day discussed how they wished they could paint some walls outside, and fancy up an area they didn't get to use much, due to it not being securely fitted to spend time without close supervision. Money, i said, it all comes down to money, and how our politicians distribute them. And i told them how my american friends are amazed to hear about their cells with TV's, and how i've i vain have tried to explain that loss of freedom, loss of freedom is punishment enough. What we need is rehabilitation. And mark my words, lack of freedom alone does not rehabilitate. "They say that," one said "because they don't have a clue about what it's like before they have been here". So i gave them time for an extra cigarette before i locked in for the evening and gave some extra thanks to the fact that i am messing up my life on the right side of this law we've created to protect our society. From men like the one who poured me coffee today.