Friends they're coming friends they go, nothing really lasts for ever.

You can tell alot about a person by looking at their friends. There are, offcourse, some things you can not tell from looking at one's friends, but as a general rule I think your friends can pose as your most important accessory when it comes to setting a social standard.

When i met my man he had beautiful friends. Even the women, they were gorgeous. And diverse. And it didn't end there, they were artistic too. And most were intellectuals. The most amazing pictures would roll from their hands, and i was honoured to be chosen part of these circles. There was, like everywhere, the odd bad apple, but nothing to make an adoo about. Infact, i found that him being surrounded by all these amazing people, that being chosen by one of them was very attractive.

After returning home however, i realise that they are all somehow long gone. Some are part of something grand that we cannot be invited to, while others have just vanished into nothing. And in their place, in their place, i find these inadequate, uninspiered avarage-and-below-looking replicas. And worse han that, worse than anything, they have no manners. None to speak of atleast, and they will not give a new person a fair chanse while conversing on about their dull little lives, about their average-and-below little jobs and people i do not know. Some of them will pretend not to recognize me when i show up even though it's evident that they do, and they will keep their ill-mannared conversations about people i do not know nor wish to know going above my head as if i wasn't there. Then they will whisper giggle at me if i'm left to myself, and from the perfect gentleman i have for some reason chosen to live with, i am left to myself like that most of the time while he's having a heart-to-hole with one of his needy new aqueintances who, belive it or not, is having relationshiptroubles and hole-ache yet again, that is just-too-hard to talk to their significant others about. So there i am, the perfect little wallflower, with my perfect little head watching my perfect little life be reduced to the joke of the day by people who are posing as the accessories of our lives. I am not enjoying a second of it, but if i leave my lonely presence, god forbid, i am deemed the bitch of the century. So. Be.It. Thank you and goodbye.

So this is my advice if you need to escape quickly; first of all, sneak out. If you can, bring your personal belongings. If followed by insulted partner and yelled at, drop weight. Phones, purses and rings all slow you down. So does any shoe with a heel, including his mothers wedding-shoes that she may or may not have passed on to you. Throw the phone angrily to the ground. Use force, so it smashes apart, and leave him to puzzle it back together, then randomly throw the other stuff around to confuse him. A park you may or may not pass trough on the way home is a good scene. Not wearing shoes is extremely important, but keeping pantyhose on to keep your steps even more silent and protect your feet while you run is very good. If you by any chanse should be wearin a long, gothic dress, grab on to the sides and feel like you fly (it's very liberating). You should be gone in no time if you're not scared to go trough all the places druggies go to shoot up. Don't worry about your feet, super-pantyhose will protect you, atleast till the next day. Then run like the wind.

Since you had to sacrifice the phone to escape, you can't contact any friends and the best way to run should now be home.

This might be a late point in time to think about hiding keys somwhere on your body or atleast leave a spare set by your door. If possible, grab a newspaper and try and have a nap in the garden. If this proves hard, wake up someone you know in the building and have them let you in to the hallways, just as lifepartner returns. If lifepartner still isn't humbled by your ovbious superpowers, and possibly failed to bring home anything but the phone, go to bed i the livingroom alone.

Awake early to the sound of messages from random man who found your purse (for security-reasons i advice that you leave a card with your number in your purse at all times). If random man on the phone who has your purse doesn't also have your shoes, ask him where he thinks they are. If he has happened to have spotted something shoe-like ouside of a church, don't hesitate to enter said church and ask employees there if they have seen them after looking a little. Your shoes should be situated neetly by the stairway outside. Don't be surprised if noone knows where your ring is though. Valuables are easily lost when tossed around like that, but it might be worth it to prove a point you can almost recall the next day.